Speaking of impatience…

one of the things I’ve had to learn how to do in the last year while unfolding the mystery of my increasingly injured knee is to adjust my expectations of what I can do in a day. I tend to have a limited amount of walking around’ (or standing) time in day, after which things get incredibly painful and exhausting (or my knee just decides that nope I’m not going to have any more of this ‘doing things’ nonsense altogether). I tend to prioritise the necessary things like work and appointments — as well as basic life stuff like cooking, groceries, and taking the garbage out — all of which require an annoying amount of standing and walking.

If I want to do other things in the day I have to make sure I’ve done the necessary things first, to make sure they definitely get done (because apparently I’m an adult and this is what responsible adults do in life). But this means that in the past year there’s been a lot less room for things like socialising or going to art galleries or even just enjoying a nice walk.

I also find myself missing the basic freedom of movement involved in just hopping on the bus or even walking to campus or the library when I would rather work Someplace Else. (It’s hard to navigate busses without knee stability.) I’d rather save my energy for the necessary things, but this means a lot less variation in my environment, and generally my day-to-day life.

On the plus side, I’ve actually learned how to prioritise, and how to more realisitically assess what I can get done in a day instead of idealistically committing myself to way more things than are humanely possible like I did the whole time I was in grad school (which just leads to the never-ending sense that one hasn’t worked enough). I suspect these are Valuable Life Skills. But for the moment, I still find myself resisting the impulse to do more things every single day.

25 May 2016

 

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