Vegetarian pasta: a three-part drama.

I.

Me: [trimming spinach]

Lucy: Spinach!

Me: Stay off the table.

Lucy: [jumps on the table] Spinach!

Me: Don’t touch the spinach, please. Stay out of the spinach! Stay out of the spinach!

Lucy: [stands on edge of bowl, knocks bowl to floor, runs away with mouth full of greens] SPINACH!!

II.

Me: [Slicing lemons.]

Lady Jane: Scratch my ears, please.

Me: There’s lemon juice all over my hands tho’.

Lady Jane: Scratch my ears now.

Lady Jane: [shoves face under hands]

Lady Jane: Lemons.

Lady Jane: [sneezes, yowls]

Me: I told you.

Lady Jane: Lemons all over my fur.

Lady Jane: [more sneezes, yowls]

Me: Sorry.

Lady Jane: SUCH TREACHERY.

III

Me: [opening pasta]

Pasta: [explodes all over the floor]

Lucy: Pasta! Pasta!!

Lucy: [eats dried pasta. scatters the rest to dimensions unknown.]

Me: [holds broom hopelessly.]

Lucy: PASTA!!!

25 December 2015

(Happy Catmas.)

 

 

 

 

 

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